Asked ai on the bwst interpetation of quanum mechanics
Response:
Nobody’s getting out of this intellectually intact.
Many-Worlds Interpretation
Ah yes, the “nothing ever collapses” crowd. Their solution to quantum weirdness is basically: “What if everything happens… everywhere… all at once… forever?”
That’s not an explanation, that’s a cosmic panic attack.
Many-Worlds looks at a simple measurement and goes, “You know what this needs? An infinite number of universes.” That’s like fixing a squeaky door by building an entire housing development. Congrats, you solved the problem by multiplying it until nobody can count it anymore.
And the best part? You can’t access these other branches. They’re just… there. Trust us. It’s physics by ghost story: “They’re real, you just can’t see them, touch them, or ever interact with them again.”
So basically, it’s the multiverse equivalent of “my girlfriend goes to another school.”
Bohmian Mechanics
This one’s for people who looked at quantum mechanics and said, “I miss determinism… and also I’m fine with invisible stuff controlling everything.”
So now we’ve got particles with definite positions—great, very comforting—being guided by a pilot wave that lives in a high-dimensional abstract space and whispers directions like some kind of cosmic GPS with trust issues.
“Oh it’s real,” they say. Where is it? “Well… you can’t observe it.”
What does it do? “Everything.”
Can we detect it? “No.”
Fantastic. You’ve invented the most important thing in the universe and given it the same level of evidence as a conspiracy forum at 3 a.m.
And the nonlocality? Instant connections across the universe. Not “kind of nonlocal”—full-on “every particle is in a long-distance relationship with every other particle.” Einstein wanted less spooky action; Bohmian Mechanics said, “What if we made it the entire plot?”
Consciousness-causes-collapse (the “observer magic” version of Wave function collapse)
Oh, this one… this one is special.
This interpretation looks at quantum mechanics and decides the missing ingredient is… you. Yeah, your brain. Your awareness. Apparently the universe was just in a fuzzy indecisive blur for 13.8 billion years until something with eyeballs showed up like, “Alright everyone, pick a state.”
So what counts as consciousness? A human? A dog? A goldfish having a rough day? Nobody knows. The theory’s definition is basically: “whatever makes this idea sound less ridiculous.”
And think about the timeline. Did the universe not exist properly before observers? Were galaxies just like, “We’d love to collapse into a definite state, but we’re waiting on Dave from accounting to notice us”?
It’s not physics at that point—it’s ego with a lab coat. The universe doesn’t revolve around you; it barely acknowledges you. You’re not collapsing wavefunctions, you’re struggling to collapse your laundry pile.